What is W doing in Australia?

Well, it’s like living in any other city.  It’s kind of like a mix of Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, and LA.  Except the people talk a little differently, there is colored plastic money, and they drive on the other side of the road.  But it’s mainly the same in most other cases.  Those were the major differences.  The people are very nice, and they don’t really like or dislike “Americans” but they know that Americans are not too smart according to what they hear.  Australians get a good laugh when they get an Aussie TV reporter going to the USA to cover an event, and then might happen to interview the locals, and get hilarious answers and questions about Australia.  This are several great examples below..

Clearly the local government in Santa Cruz, CA is smoking something from nature.

The below querries were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for ignorance!)

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Q:   Does it ever get windy in  Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK )

A:  We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A:  Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
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Q:  I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A:  Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?  Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville, and Hervey Bay? ( UK )
A:  What did your last slave die of?
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Q:  Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A:  A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not .. oh, forget it.  Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.  Come naked.
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Q:  Which direction is North in Australia? ( USA )
A:  Face south and then turn 180 degrees.  Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
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Q:  Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:  Why?  Just use your fingers like we do…
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Q:  Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA)
A:  Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is oh, forget it.  Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.  Come naked.
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Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A:  You are a British politician, right?
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Q:  Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany)
A:  No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.  Milk is illegal.
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Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA)
A:  Rattlesnakes live in A-me-ri-ca which is where YOU come from.  All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make  good pets.
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I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A:  It’s called a Drop Bear.  They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.  You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.  Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )
A:  Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (  Italy )
A:  Yes, gay night clubs.
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Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? ( France )
A:  Only at Christmas.
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Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A:  Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.

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I am still watching a lot of US television, because Aussie TV well, it’s not as interesting for me.  It’s a small country in population, only 20 million, and so there are some good shows, but most of it’s not so great. So thank goodness for the internet.  Cable TV here is also pretty bad.   So I am downloading all of my favorite shows from the USA.  The CAble TV here is mostly UK television, US NEWS, lots of SPORTS, and some good US TV shows, but it’s just not worth paying for in my view.  It’s more effective to just download what I want to watch.

MADMEN  – advertising in 1960′s  http://www.amctv.com/originals/madmen   This has to be my current favorite series.  It’s got the 60′s retro going on, weird 60′s naive thinking about the world.  Crazy Madison Avenue Advertising Office antics. Kitchy clothes, cars, and bars.

HOW’D YOU GET SO RICH  – a new show with Joan Rivers asking that question to unsuspecting shoppers along Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, CA.   Shes funny, and it’s interesting to find out how these people got so rich..  http://www.tvland.com/prime/shows/howd_you_get_so_rich/

      
It’s not normal that I am not in the USA during it’s own birthday celebrations.   I am still getting to watch American TV though.  It’s the one thing keeping me sane over here.  I particularly like the Cable TV series MAD MEN, it’s about a 1960′s guy who works in an advertising agency.  I like the 60′s genre, and I studied Advertising in College, so it’s all good.

Ace of Cakes is an amazing show too.  Lots of creative ways of solving cake problems. It’s a fun show too. Australia has it’s own set of shows here.  Some are good, but most are pretty bad.  The few that are good are novel and interesting because they are fresh and new.  Otherwise it’s all the same stuff.

We are inundated with Michael Jackson updates about all the crap that’s been published about him. Rupert Murdoch’s media gaunlet hits hard almost every hour with more crap that is made up, or twisted beyond belief.  I am just amazed at what they spin to get our attentions, and then they don’t bother retracting the false stories.   And the main stream media over here eats it up like sorbet between courses.

It’s winter here, and it’s pretty cold all the time.  OK, not like Chicago, but it’s still pretty cold. They just don’t know what a winter coat is here.  And it’s going down to 38′F tonight, so they had better learn quickly.  I guess it’s like the people in Florida, they know about cold weather, it just doesn’t happen that often.

Well, so far, so good.

Thanks for tuning in !

- W

Well, what can I say? He’s Dobie. You expect him to be hot-headed and self centered, and not focused on other people. You expect that. But I thought I was helping him, and in fact I was just feeding his dependency. Who knew? I didn’t at the time.

So here’s what happened;
Dobie and I are no longer working together, you might have heard. He said that I stole money, and that’s about all I could handle from him. After helping him for over 10 years financially, and any way I could, that was the last straw for me.

Most of his friends said I lasted longer as a “business partner” than they gambled I would ! so it’s over, now I am the devil, within a long line of people that tried to help him and are now considered to be Satan’s children. I have never been on this end of the stick before, and in hindsight it’s better than the other end.

I wish him all the best, and I wish he please stop using me as the reason for all of his “woes.” He claims I “stole” everything from him. No one believes it, if they know me. No one.
So why keep making himself look so pathetic all the time? why not start looking up and looking toward the future. It actually works. And it makes life more enjoyable.

- W